I have eaten a lot recently, I claim I am still carb loading, replacing all of the vital nutrients that I lost while haul assing round the marathon ( not sure how many nutrients are in a scotch egg but I know they are all vital). I don’t know how much longer I can use this excuse for. It was vaguely plausible after my second helpings to dinner on Saturday, but when I polished off my Easter egg on Sunday post brunch pre walk we all knew I was pushing boundaries. Big Ferrero Roche egg shaped boundaries.
It seems like rather a lot has gone on in the last week, but when I come to think of it I cannot remember, it may have something to do with the fact that my abstinence from alcohol ended last week, in celebration of the marathon and my birthday. All of the brain cells I recovered during my 4 week dry season , I killed spectacularly with limoncello and tequila, apparently being 26 gives me a taste for the exotic, if tequila and limoncello constitute as exotic? So things I can remember from last week, I eat a metre long pizza, I drank tequila, I eat a lot of eggs, I eat a lot of cheese, I eat a chocolate egg the size of my head, and I had a disaster in the kitchen with a chocolate mousse. Gosh no wonder I am such a spotty horror this week, that reads like Kerry Katona’s breakfast.
I spent the Easter weekend in Lincolnshire, home of the sausage, Margaret Thatcher and not much else. It hasn’t much to offer culinary wise, (apart from my mother of course but she is originally from Yorkshire), so I decided to do a bit of research, and found out that Lincolnshire is famed for 3 things; 1) the aforementioned sausage, 2), Plum cake and 3) stuffed pigs back bone locally known as Chine. I stopped searching after that.
I am all for offal, (and offal for all), but somehow stuffed pigs back gives me the heebie jeebies. I think it has something to do with ribs, as they give me the willies too. I always imagine someone playing the xylophone on my rib cage ala Flintstones and it gives me the hiccups. Which is one of many reasons that I can’t eat racks of ribs, other than the fact that I am a mucky pup and I tend to miss the meat and bite the bone and end up with a bbq sauce smile. I am pretty rubbish at eating meat of the bone in general. I would make a rubbish cave man’s wife.
Me as a Cavewoman , I think I wear the loin cloth well….
Which brings me on to my semi subject for today’s blog. What an excellent seamless link that was……The Caveman Diet, whilst happily watching re-runs of Come Dine With Me, there was a rather weedy looking man who made some big claims about the benefits of his Palaeolithic diet, I strongly disagreed mainly because my guns were bigger than his and also because you should never trust a man who cannot fill a pair of skinny jeans, technically, that said you should never trust a man in skinny jeans. So I researched this too. I thought at first it sounded rather fun, this is my attitude to most things, but as someone who has never been on a diet I think they probably are rather fun, as long as one doesn’t go too far! You get to eat out of Tupperware everyday and you can have treat yourself days, or themed days, today I am only eating purple food or food that begins with C. That sort of thing. On the Cave Man Diet you get to eat lots of meat, game, fish, mushrooms and herbs and spices, tea is recommended as a healthy drink and grape juice also, which technically is wine, so I liked it even more. Then there was a photo of a beef cake, I swooned at his one leg on rock pose, and blushed at his “one day my body could be yours” look and I was all set to remove Dan Snow as my screen saver and swear my allegiance to my beef cake, but then I read a bit further on and the beef cake said lots of people are put off by the regular intake of “organ meats”, as I said I like some offal (oh another seamless link, I think I am getting the hang of this) but I will not be regularly chowing down on a goat heart (apparently very high in iron), and then the side effects, “due to the high iron content of the diet spontaneous hair growth can occur more often than not“, I will not go into the other side effects but let’s just say it has put me off my beef cake.
So I am now in a rather morose mood, my new diet was extinct before lunch and my beef cake has flatulence, I have lost my faith in Come Dine With Me, and I have spotty chocolate face of bubonic proportions, so to cheer myself up I goggled my cave man name and it came out as:
Your Caveman name is: Lives In Own Little World
It may have a point…..
Rhubarb Crumble Cake
I used to make this cake a lot, when I was baking for the amazing Stewart and Co in Newcastle, it was always the first to sell out, even before chocolate brownies. I added some crushed and toasted hazelnuts to the topping which added a bit more bite, and the orange as well, as rhubarb and orange I think are very nice together. And as we know what I say goes!
3oz butter, 3oz caster sugar, 2 eggs, 3oz SR flour, 1 tsp ground ginger, zest of an orange Pinch of salt, Milk, 1lb rhubarb, 1 tbsp Demerara sugar
Topping – 2oz butter, 3oz plain flour,1oz caster sugar
- Heat the oven to GM5/190’C/375’F. Grease and line an 8’’ round cake tin. I am not sure I have ever measured a tin, but this cake is very forgiving, I used to triple it according to whatever tin I have, and have even made it in a La Creuset pot before.
- Cream together the butter and the sugar, beat in the eggs and fold in the flour and salt. Add enough milk to give a dropping consistency.
- Slice the rhubarb into 1’’ pieces and toss with the Demerara sugar, ginger and orange zest.
- Make the topping by rubbing the butter into the flour and stirring in the sugar. Just as you would a crumble, and add the toasted and chopped hazelnuts
- Turn the cake mix into the tin and arrange the rhubarb on top. Sprinkle over the Demerara sugar and the topping mixture and bake in the oven for 40-45 minutes until the cake feels firm on top.
Avocado & Scallop Ceviche
This recipe comes from the official Caveman Diet recipe, I thought it sounded rather nice, it was the best of a rather disturbing bundle of recipes and was pretty much the only one which didn’t involve “organ meats”. I have changed it ever so slightly and have re written it from the rather basic grunts and series of snorts from its original.
The idea behind a ceviche is that the acid cooks the scallops, so technically it is raw but very delicious, and originating from South America it is excellent with a bit of guacamole. But make sure that you use fresh scallops and if you can keep the shell as they are pretty. A few years ago when I was working on Embankment there used to be a lovely man selling the Evening Standard, yes you used to have to pay for it!!! He used to yell all day, “Standard”, but he had a slightly funny accent, or maybe my hearing was awful, I thought he was yelling “Scallops”, I finally told him and he gave me a free paper every day, so this my Scallop yelling Standard friend is for you.
4 Limes juiced
2 Lemons juiced
3Tbs Olive oil
1 Red Chilli
1/2 red onion finely chopped
1 big tomato finely chopped
Good handful of parsley chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
4 lb of fresh scallops cubed
For the Guacamole:
Pinch salt and pepper
1 Lemon juiced
1 clove of garlic
1 green chilli chopped
1 TBS Natural Yogurt
Quite pathetically easy really….
Finley chop the following:
Red Onion, red chilli, parsley, tomatoes.
Roughly chop the scallops
Juice the lemons and limes.
Add salt and pepper.
Throw into a bowl and mix around a little put in fridge for an hour or so, the scallops should go opaque.
For the Guacamole
Blitz all of the ingredients in the blender and season to taste…
Really yummy with flat breads torn up and toasted in the oven with a little olive oil some salt and turmeric.